10 Resolutions to Become a Better Dater in 2015 (For Asian Guys)

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Another year gone, a new year started, and dozens of resolutions in the back of your mind that you’re going to dump by mid-February. You know it’s true. You probably made the same New Year’s resolutions that you (and everyone else on the planet) made last year and the year before that. It’s almost as if resolutions were simply made to be broken and abandoned.

But you want 2015 to be different. You’re tired of living the same boring, average life. You want change. You want more excitement. You want more money. You want more women. You want to be suave and sophisticated. You want this to be the year that you change everything for good.

This is the year you date your mega hottie.

This is the year you date your mega hottie.

And you totally can. But you’re not going to get anywhere by making the same resolutions time and time again, promising yourself that this time you’ll lose the weight, this time you’ll do things right. If you truly want to make changes in your life, you’ve got to change your lifestyle and way of thinking. The rest will take care of itself.

If you want to become a better Asian man in 2015, here are our top ten resolutions that we guarantee will change the way you look at life:

1. Stop believing the Anti-Asian racism. Embrace your identity.

This goes out to all the Asian men out there who think that being Asian is the root of their problems with women. Stop it. That’s not the reason why you’re not getting any.

I see the same statements from certain Asian men time and time again (if you’re not this guy, fantastic). White girls just don’t like Asian guys. Asian girls are always after white guys. Everybody is racist. Woe is me.

White guys don’t make things any better—whenever we post a pro-Asian-male article, the comments section is usually littered with white guys making racist comments. It’s maddening. But do you know what’s happening every time you’re sitting there and contemplating racial dynamics, wondering why online dating sucks for Asian men, asking yourself why girls don’t talk to you, complaining about women being shallow? The world keeps moving and girls keep dating. They don’t want a guy who is so timid he won’t ask them out or who is so anxious about their response that he comes off as awkward. So stop giving a shit. You’re hot stuff and you know it. Don’t let the nagging voice in the back of your head become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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2. For that matter, stop being negative.

I get it, you’re your own worst critic. I’m guilty of this. I guarantee you are. You kick yourself for not sticking with last year’s resolution to join a gym, you’re mad at yourself for not standing up to that asshole at work, or maybe you’re embarrassed because you’re bad at something all your other friends enjoy. But it’s time to stop beating yourself up. The more you dwell on things you can’t or didn’t do, the worse you’ll make yourself feel. So don’t sweat the small stuff. Maybe you didn’t keep up with your gym membership, but you got the P90X system so you at least got the ball rolling. Instead of focusing on the fact that you dropped that membership, start doing your P90X tapes instead of your nightly Call of Duty ritual, and reward yourself for finishing something that most other people quit after two weeks.

3. Stop thinking about the result. Work on the steps up to the result.

A lot of guys tell themselves they’ll find a new girlfriend for the new year. It’s like American Pie all over again and making a pact with your friends to lose your virginity by prom night—you’re focusing on the destination, not the journey, so you’ll get yourself nowhere. How many of the guys making these resolutions actually start doing something to fix the reason why they’ve been single? They might set up a profile on a dating website, but for the most part this resolution is just an excuse to sit down and complain about women all over again. But why not focus on fixing the actual problem at hand—like fixing your body language, conversation skills, or style—instead of lamenting the fact that you went to bed alone again?

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4. Get rid of enemies.

As tempting as it may be, I do NOT recommend hiring a professional assassin for this resolution. I mean you’re either going to have to stand up for yourself or cut this person out of your life. Maybe you’re like John Cho in Harold and Kumar, maybe there’s a douche at work who always dumps extra work on you and you faithfully do it like his little lap dog. Tell him to do his own work and report him to HR. Or maybe you’ve got a friend like Stifler who hangs around like a wart on your ass, making your life miserable even though nobody really likes him. Stop answering this person’s calls, block their number, and remove them from social media sites. In the new year there is no excuse for the new you to allow these miserable people to keep dragging you down just because you don’t want to say anything—speak up!

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5. Stop depending on social media.

While you’re busy deleting those douchebags from your Facebook account, you might have to question how much you rely on it in the first place.

Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with people you might otherwise never see, but it’s also easy to become dependent on that as a substitute for actual friends and a real social life.

It might be easy to swipe right on Tinder, but what happens when you get on that date and you’re a nervous mess?

That best friend you met through Mafia Wars four years ago might be really fun to talk to, but he lives six states away and he can’t party with you on the weekends.

Stop using social media as a crutch. Go outside. Take a class at the gym. Join a cooking club. Whatever it is, if you’re questioning why life just isn’t as fun anymore while you’re looking at cat memes, you need to go meet real people. Real interactions help your dating life. Social media does not. It’s perfectly fine to use these tools, but make sure you’re also practicing your real game at bars & clubs.

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Written by Cindy Young

  • wen

    Good article

  • Check Yourself

    “…whenever we post a pro-Asian-male article, the comments section is usually littered with white guys making racist comments.”

    Wow, no kidding. I just ventured onto this site for the first time, and damn for what’s supposed to be an Asian lifestyle site, there’s a lot of white guys here taking cheapshots. Seriously, they have nothing better to do? I guess for a certain ‘class’ of ‘men’, attacking others makes them feel better about themselves.