10 Reasons I Prefer Dating Asian Men

Asian men are sexy, and this columnist dishes on why she prefers dating Asian men.

People often ask me why I prefer to date Asian men. I’m part Asian, part white, and even though I’m stuck in both cultures, I strongly identify with my Asian side. But simply “being Asian” isn’t a good reason to date other Asians. It’s a cop-out, a lame excuse and a shrug from someone who sticks with the same old, same old even though they have no idea why they do it.

But you wanted to know, and I have an answer. Prepare to laugh. Prepare to cry. And don’t call me when you have to change your underwear because you laughed so hard you peed a little.

So here are my top ten reasons why I prefer to date Asian men:

We’re relatable and share a common language for joking and talking shit.

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Sure, I speak English. If I date an American guy, he speaks English too. There’s no language barrier and we would understand each other’s sense of humor with no problems… in English. But there are some things that just don’t translate. There are some phrases, words, and jokes that make a lot of sense in Chinese and would baffle any non-Chinese person. I can’t share these things with your average American guy and expect him to understand, but when I’m with a Chinese guy, not only does he understand all of my jokes, he and I can talk shit around other people without anyone knowing.

Even though I may look White, I actually strongly relate to my Chinese grandmother, and was raised with a lot of Chinese traditions. When my boyfriend can relate to that it gives him a lot of brownie points.

They’re respectful and less likely to treat me like an object.

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I’ll start off by saying that not every non-Asian man who likes Asian women has his preferences because of some sick hentai schoolgirl tentacle porn girl fantasy. But that stereotype exists for a reason. For every genuine man out there, there’s another who looks at Asian women and sees nothing more than an accessory to fulfill his sexual fetish. Getting approached by a non-Asian man is a crapshoot; does he like me for me, or does he like me because his Facebook wall is plastered with images of Asian idols and import models, and Asian women are a fantasy for him?

Asian men have a level of respect that I rarely see from men of other races. Yes there are rude and impolite Asian men, but after meeting men of all races I have to admit that I’ve had my best experiences with Asian men. It’s within our culture and DNA and we were raised to behave this way, and it makes for a great match.

Two words: double holidays.

women asians smiling teddy bears christmas outfits agnes lim_wallpaperswa.com_8

HELL YES. As Chinese Americans, we have the luxury of celebrating all the American holidays AND all the Chinese holidays. Double the good food. Double the fireworks. Double the insanity. Going to a non-Asian guy’s house for Thanksgiving is great, but going to an Asian guy’s house for Thanksgiving AND Chinese New Year is ten times as awesome. And also, who doesn’t love Chinese food during Thanksgiving instead of your usual turkey and mashed potatoes?

They won’t turn their nose up at my cooking.

It's always good when your man looks like this when he's eating your food.

It’s always good when your man looks like this when he’s eating your food.

Cooking is important to me. I love to be in the kitchen, and I love making Chinese food. But I remember packing Chinese lunches to school as a little girl and having everyone laugh because they thought the food smelled nasty. EVERY Asian kid knows what this is like. If you’re confused, that’s because your exposure to Chinese food is limited to cheap takeout that real Chinese people wouldn’t even recognize as edible. It tastes (and smells) unlike anything else in this world. If I bring home a non-Asian guy, I don’t know if he can handle the authenticity, but when I bring home an Asian guy, I know it’s just like mama used to make.

PS. Nothing is worse than a man that doesn’t know how to use chopsticks.

They age like fine wine.

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For some reason (perhaps a deal with the devil, or more likely our better diet), Asians are famous for aging extremely well. I’ve seen Asian men in their late 30s and even 40s who don’t even have a hint of wrinkles yet, and that is AWESOME. Let’s face it, Caucasians don’t age that well, and I don’t want to be with someone who is going to look like a crypt keeper when I still look ten years younger than I am. And when that aging starts to come in and his hair finally starts to go gray, the salt and pepper effect against his jet black hair makes an Asian man look more George Clooney than George Clooney himself.

 I can go home to meet his parents.

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Sure, a non-Asian guy can take me home to meet his parents. Nothing’s stopping him, unless his dad has a couple of white hoods hidden in the closet. But as open as his parents are to meeting me, things always get awkward, and I get bombarded with well-meaning but bafflingly racist questions. Where are you from? No, where are you really from? What’s your real name? Are you a citizen? Do your people celebrate Christmas? My son can only date Christians, are your people Christian? What are you? (Um, human, I hope.) YES, REALLY. All the above happened when I was dating a nice Caucasian boy a few years ago. I know they for the most part don’t mean any harm, but it feels less like being in a zoo with Asian moms who don’t feel the need to ask those questions.

I don’t know if this is really a thing, but full Asians seem to love hapas like myself. Every Asian mom or dad I’ve met has always thought I was adorable and taken me in as their own.

Because racist jokes aren’t funny anymore.

dads_schoolgirl_fax

I have a friend—he shall remain nameless—who thinks that just because he’s dating an Asian woman, it gives him an excuse to be as racist as possible. Ever hear, “I’m not racist, I totally have a black/Asian/Hispanic friend!”? As it turns out, those same people are even WORSE when they actually manage to date someone of that ethnicity. For my friend, he thinks that dating an Asian woman makes up for all the jokes about eating dogs and about how she’s with him because she doesn’t like tiny Asian dick (newsflash: the men making dick jokes are always packing a baby dick). I’ve dated men like this. All Asian women have. Not every non-Asian man does it, but every Asian woman knows one who does. I refuse to be someone’s excuse.

If they forget to shave, it doesn’t feel like being kissed by a Brillo pad.

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This one is contentious. Some women like facial hair, some don’t, but for those of us who don’t, the growing hipster movement, No-Shave November, Decembeard, and Manuary are all a dreaded nightmare. As this time of the year approaches, I dread having to see unkempt and scraggly chin pubes rear their ugly heads. My people are not a hairy people. I think I grow three or four hairs on my entire body. Pluck-pluck-pluck, I’m done shaving in 30 seconds. Easy peasy. That’s why I love the fact that when I’m with an Asian man, his face is always velvety smooth and very kissable.

They “get” it.

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There’s something about being raised as a member of a culture that you just can’t get from enjoying it and trying to absorb everything you can as an outsider. It’s like trying to learn about sex when you’re stuck with masturbating… close, but no cigar. It can’t be learned. It can’t be purchased. It must be born. I applaud every person who makes an effort to learn about my culture and my heritage. I know it isn’t easy. But as much as they try to learn, there’s just something fundamentally Chinese that they’re missing. It’s not their fault, but that’s the way it is. For people who don’t put a high personal value on their heritage, lacking “it” isn’t a problem. But I prefer Chinese men because I know that they’ll understand me on a deeper level than other men ever will.

They’re sexier to me.

Faux-Hawk-Black

I like Bradley Cooper as much as the next girl. There are some men who are so good-looking that they transcend race. But for me, these are few and far between. Yes, muscles are nice. Taking pride in your appearance is great. More power to you if the ladies hang off of you. But there’s just something about the strong facial features of a good-looking Asian man that draws me in and makes me salivate like no other. Plus, there’s something to be said about the fact that there are over 1 billion Chinese people in this world. Clearly the men are doing something right!

Written by Cindy Young

  • Hon Mac

    interesting article… things I never thought about… but I guess it could also go for why some Asian guys, just prefer to be with Asian girls… particularly, less “white-washed” Asian girls… but, to each his own…

  • Gary Tran

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and your recent articles. As an Asian man, I feel like you nailed most of the key points. Keep on writing! 10/10

    • Jason Alatorre

      you only point out the “positive points” in your mind what are the negative? Would like to hear cause honestly no one race is superior, we are all equals if you boil down to it.

  • T

    Wow. That’s some impressive racism you got going there.

  • No way

    Wow, totally messed up chick and white guys have an issue?

    “he and I can talk shit around other people without anyone knowing”
    Class right there folks.

    “Let’s face it, Caucasians don’t age that well, and I don’t want to be
    with someone who is going to look like a crypt keeper when I still look
    ten years younger than I am”

    Damn, you just can’t stop can you.

    “Asian men have a level of respect that I rarely see from men of other
    races. Yes there are rude and impolite Asian men, but after meeting men
    of all races I have to admit that I’ve had my best experiences with
    Asian men. It’s within our culture and DNA and we were raised to behave
    this way, and it makes for a great match.”

    You must live on Fantasy Island. All races have rude men and honestly, I’ve seen more rude and ignorant Asian males than whites, that goes with Paki’s too.

    After all this, can’t believe you still call out whites.

    • gag9 9gag

      Wah wah wah. White men invented slavery, pedaphila, white colored crime, and nothing happens, tease a white guy and you flip out. Grow the fuk up, stupid white people are always bitching and whining about the littlest things. No wonder ISIS wants to kill you!

      • Velocitor

        “White men invented slavery”

        That’s interesting. When did they do that? I guess it was before the Egyptians had Jewish slaves building the pyramids.

  • Jason Alatorre

    I am part asian myself and my parents said to me “To embrace the part of you feel the most connected to” and that is the asian heritage. Yeah the writer of this this article is very closed minded and doesn’t see or doesn’t want to see the entire picture. Family taught me to accept a person not just their looks, but how they treat others. yeah I do have stright asian friends and would say the same what I am saying here.even in 2015 there are people who are still closed minded people from past generations that have passed this racist behavior onto this generation and it’s sad. There might be a billion Chinese people in the world, but not all of the men are doing something right. This article is just overtly racist and does not represent me in any way,shape or form nor am I white-washed either. It’s articles like this that just makes me feel ashamed that I am part Asian.

  • Joeyjoe50

    all of the reasons either non-reasons or ethnic chauvanism. The true facts on the ground are that Asian women usually find their own men quote lame and 90% want a white guy. I’m not a dream boat and have dated a few Asian women myself. Almost all had reasons I didn’t quite buy for not dating Asian men like ‘it feels like I’m dating my cousin’. Won’t get into what I know is the real reason. If I took the woman who wrote this article to bed she would write a new article on why she will only date Italians! :)

    • Coolio

      You’re quite lame. Do you think that such a gentle lady such as the author of the article will get a grip for such useless, shallow, insecure, prejudice and disgusting people such as yourself. You sound like a loser who has had such a hard time finding the perfect women to discuss non petty issues with. Bitch.

      • Nikko

        Be nice everyone has there own opinion
        Don’t did her either
        I’ll say tbh with you, your just plan rude an don’t respect other peoples mind or opinion itself
        You just say that without thinking it you hurt the persons feelings. Think about it, say that to your parents and they scold you about it probably for awhile
        Just chill or if you don’t like it, leave it alone and f*** off

        • gag9 9gag

          Great to know you can’t spell. Also, Italian men are known as the sleaze bags of society, All you do is wait for your mommy to wipe your fat ass clean, while you kill yourself with salty sausage. Stupid Whop!

          • Joeyjoe50

            Hi folks! I just noticed I seem to have struck a raw nerve over a year ago and some bozos are still reeling! :)
            You are clearly either a woman who got dumped and feels humiliated or a lame guy with a tiny little member whose girl cheated on him with a real man like myself. Doesn’t matter.
            Go walk around the city a little and almost every Asian woman is walking around next to a white guy.
            Since you were so fucking rude I will have to be more blunt. Asian guys are generally effeminate and weak, have inadequate size where it matters, low drive and sexual stamina, and – I’ve been informed by several Asian women I myself got to know – are insensitive, selfish, and don’t treat women well. Especially as a woman ages and is seen by them as worthless. Possessive and insecure are also adjectives they used to describe them – their own men!
            Italians were the main civilizing force in the west, which eventually civilized the rest of the world and lifted it out of barbarism. We have all the attributes that are desirable in men – intellect , creativity, charm, physical fortitude, power in bed, and power of persuasion.
            You can paint the white woman as the devil all you want. As I got older I got to learn woman of all types, even black women surprisingly , all like dating white guys.
            Kiss my ass! Better yet, kiss my nice thick cock

          • gag9 9gag

            HAHAHA Italian men are civilized? Is that what you call you’re entire Vatican who enjoy sticking their penis into little boy’s bums? Civilized, is that what you call abandoning refugees? Civilized, is that what you call a recent story where an Italian guy posted nude videos of his ex-girlfriend, which caused her to commit suicide? Italy is a laughing stock of fake ass Italian men who think they’re the best when all their good at is being a fake ass snake oil salesman. Also if Asian men’s sex drive is so low, why do all these WHITE MEN need to take viagara or some other drug to get their cheese smelling dick up? you know why? cause Italians are full of cancer and other weird ass allergies.

          • gag9 9gag

            Why do so many white men rape children?

          • dandylone

            Ummmm, aren’t most Italian men like 5 foot 4 like Joe Pesci and Danny Devito? Most northeast Asians are taller than most Italians. Aren’t countries like Italy, Portugal, Spain, and Greece, the impoverished, dysfunctional third world countries of the European Union. Why did the rest of Europe unionized with them? It’s like the United States unionizing with Mexico. I’m sure you are happy being short, dumb, and poor.

          • sloa dune

            You do know that based on factual statistics, Asian men are most virile men on the planet. There are more Asian people in the world’s population than anybody else. Rank at the top of the list of population density of industrialized nations are Macau, Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan, Japan, and South Korea. Higher than most industrialized western countries. Birth rate is lower today, but it is because they are reaching critical mass in space and housing. Funny thing, I noticed, is that if you meet Asian men with Caucasian wives in real life, you notice they have more children than the average Asian husband/Asian wife couples and White husband/White wife couples. Don’t believe me? Some famous examples. Actor, Russell Wong’s, Chinese father and Caucasian mother had 7 children together. Comic book artist, Jim Lee, have 9 children with his Caucasian white. Who can forget the Siamese Twins. They were from Thailand. Technically, they were ethnically Chinese. They married two Caucasian sisters and had 21 children between them. They have 1,500 descendants today. They were joined at their hips, but dang, they had to be plowing their Caucasian wives like crazy.

    • gag9 9gag

      Dating Italians? Asians girls have seen Jersey Shore and now that Italians love to gym, tanning and get STDs. Being Italian also means you support the Vatican and love to touch and smell little boys bum bum holes. I mean, who wouldn’t love to go out with a guy whose a pedaphile? (sarcasm)

  • tazo157

    I can’t thank you enough for supporting Asian men. It means a lot to us. Compared to the demonizing racist America media, it’s very refreshing. We love you too. :)

  • Nikko

    I saw some kpop idol in there ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
    The most defined one was TaeYang ╮(─▽─)╭

  • Terry Eppler, PhD.

    Was a random find but I enjoyed the read. The stereotype discussed can be a very challenging (to say the least) aspect of being an Asian man in the modern world that is mostly ignored. It’s almost global in its pervasiveness and acceptance. Growing up here in the US, I know being an Asian male is like being in a quasi-caste system, a love-leeper, untouchable for even Asian women. I am always amazed how much racism, ignorance, and hatred it the mere subject can invoke others. Thank you for writing!