You probably know that the Japanese have the least amount of sex in the world. But do you know who comes after them? No surprise – it’s also an Asian country. But at least they are finally selling vibrators…
If you are a big fan of Amped Asia (and we know you are), you would know that two of the things we love over here are crazy stories from Japan and interesting tales of vibrators. But do you know there is another Asian country that is notoriously sex-starved? Today, we bring you to the tiny city of Singapore.
Women all over Singapore have been looking a little puzzled lately, as “personal massagers” started going on sale island-wide at a local retail chain last month. You might be surprised that citizens in the vibrant city-state, which is one of the richest nations in the world despite its small size, do not have very vibrant sex lives.
Surveys have consistently showed that Singaporeans have as much sex as Leonardo DiCaprio has Oscars. Global sex surveys have placed the Southeast Asian country as the second-most undersexed place in the world – after who else but Japan. Similar to Japan – Singaporeans are not making love, making babies or injecting more fun into their lives. The Good Vibe Survey found that only 30% of women are satisfied with their sex lives, a figure that I promise to help raise from today onwards. In 2012, a Gallup Poll also gave Singaporeans the title of the world’s most emotionless people. Coincidence? Nah, I don’t think so.
So with vibrators starting to go mainstream and making an appearance at ordinary retail stores, hopefully women will get more buzz in their lives – with or without men. While it has to be acknowledged that sex toys have always been sold in some adult shops tucked away from the public eye, and of course widely available online, this move is a major step forward in the normalization of women’s sexuality and sexuality in general in the conservative nation.
Now – here’s the fun part. The vibrators do not look anything like sex toys and since it’s the first time that vibes are sold openly – they have been mistaken by the innocent population for perfume and, among other things, children’s toys! Given that only 1 in 5 women in Singapore have used a vibrator, let’s give them some time to adjust to this…
The vibrators are made by Swedish brand Smile Makers and are now on the shelves of local retail chain, Watsons. It comes in four different styles, with the packaging showing a different cartoon character. I bet you a million bucks you won’t guess what they are called. The descriptions of their personalities are pretty awesome too.
The Fireman: Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Well, the house may be burning but this helmeted stud isn’t afraid of an intense situation. He’s strong. He’s brave. And, oh my, he’s going to heat you up and leave you smoldering. Lie back and enjoy that lovely towering inferno, you damsel in distress. Your hero is coming.
The Frenchman: Who knows what he’s saying, but does it matter? This sexy linguist has got you locked in his gaze and soon you’ll be delightfully fluent in his native tongue. So make yourself comfortable, mademoiselle, because when it comes to passion this master’s going to give you an education.
The Tennis Coach: He’s tanned, he looks mighty fine in a pair of little white shorts, and he sure knows what he’s doing with that forehand stroke. According to him, perfect play is about skilful aim, so after your sweat session at the net, there’s nothing quite like taking him back to yours for a little off-court, indoor action.
The Millionaire: His yacht. His private jet. His island. His thick, long diamond-encrusted fingers. And you. This guy is a collector of the finer things in life, and it turns out you’re his favourite plaything of all. He’s a powerful player with a great, big trust fund, and he knows exactly how to use it.
According to the manufacturers, a great deal of thought has gone into naming the vibes:
“We figured what better way to address the stigma of vibrators than through cheeky characters, so we named our vibrators after the most popular female fantasies. We want to feel free to say ‘I’m going home with the Millionaire’ openly to our friends.”
Research has shown that masturbation lowers the risk of diabetes, reduces insomnia, and increases pelvic floor strength. What are you waiting for, ladies? And men – this Thanksgiving, get your girlfriend a new vibrator!
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