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**Rondillo** · 09-19-2007, 03:40 AM

Well I guess now I have a problem with my friends and their drama story. Well this couple I know have been going out since I've met them my freshman year in college, but heard they've been going out since high school. Well I think they're a great couple but they fight a lot but are always happy together the next day. Well yesterday, I just found out from the guy that they had a big fight over something and they haven't been talking all weekend. He was saying how she and him just had different personalities that conflicted with each other, and although they always found a way to make it work, they somehow couldn't do it anymore. There were some other details but I think i can omit them for now.

Anyways, I still think he cares for her very much, because after class, when we usually have lunch together with his girlfriend, he said he had to do some stuff so he couldn't eat. I said ok, so I decided to go eat by myself, since i thought it would be awkward and maybe wrong to eat with his girlfriend without him, but then he said I should call her and eat with her! Because he said she probably needs a friend the most right now. So I did.

When I saw her, we ate together and did homework, but I couldn't bring the topic of her boyfriend and their relationship because i wasn't sure if i should. I really want to help them because they are one of the few friends I have here in Long Beach but this is something i'm not good with so i'm afraid i might make it worse. So what should i do? Wavecry

Also we were on our laptops and she asked me how to delete her wallpaper (which was a picture of her and her BF) and how to delete the saved password of her BF on her myspace... I think its really going to go down, and i'm afraid because I'm going to miss hanging out with the 3 of us together...

**4jpz** · 09-19-2007, 08:58 AM

I think you should talk to them upfront on how things are. Ask them if how things are, what happened and couldn't they patch things up. You know like he said she said thingy... After you get their ends then it would be best if you have them talk their differences together, and you'll be their mediator just in case it gets ugly or no ones talking...

***Lance*** · 09-19-2007, 01:08 PM

I think there's very little you can do if they no longer want to be together. I think you can definitely still hang out with each of them individually.

If you are trying to get them back together, maybe talk to each of them individually and maybe see if its something that can be worked out.

**Rondillo** · (This post was last modified: 09-20-2007 04:39 AM by Rondillo.)

Thanx for the replies! Kiss

Well today after class again, I asked my friend if we were having lunch today. I think he understood that I meant that "we" meant the 3 of us, but he said not today because he is busy today and has lots of work. I don't know how he got so busy all of a sudden, but i'm sure it has something to do with him breaking up with his GF. It seems that he doesnt want to get back together with her and also I'm guessing he broke it off with her, so there might be little hope to persuade him to get back with her. Thinking about hanging out with them individually kinda saddens me. I don't think I want that. Just today when me and the guy were just walking, there was a lot of awkward silences. I really hope it doesn't come down to that.

What you guys are suggesting me to do are probably the best things to do but actually the real problem is having the courage to face my friends and talk about this kind of stuff, because I've never really had friends who dated each other. Usually when one broke it off with another, I usually only talk the most to the one that was originally my friend. So its really awkward for me when trying to save their relationship, because in the past, my advice to friends have been, "break it or take it" types. Should I just suck it up, no matter how awkward and out of place I feel? It just seems so hard. And getting them to be in the same place is hard too. I guess saving a relationship isn't as easy as I think... Unless you guys have like a crazy plan like arranging a meeting to a place without telling the other is coming... Twisted

**4jpz** · 09-20-2007, 08:31 AM

lol... nothing extreme like that! you have to pull a major planning if you want to make the meeting-without-knowing works!

It's really an awkward time when your talking about breakups regardless if you're involved or someone else's... I guess you have to let them air their side to you, separately, and from there you can guess if there's hope to save the relationship... if it can't be saved, then you have to accept the fact that you can't hang out with them as before... and you can suggest to them that since they've been together for so long to just part ways as friends, remain as friends and still hang out as friends...

**Rondillo** · (This post was last modified: 09-21-2007 02:57 AM by Rondillo.)

lol maybe i should bring them to an empty classroom and trap them in there alone with each other! Twisted

not really lol

well yesterday got a little complicated. Remember when my friend said that I should eat with his girlfriend, because she probably needs a friend right now? Well, like one of those TV dramas Duh

, a friend of the girl's overheard us on the escalator Duh

and took it as him being arrogant and saying "she needed a friend more than him." Although that's not quite true if I start the conversation we had from the beginning, it doesn't seem like so. But i guess that's all the friend heard and told on him to her. AND now I'm meeting her for lunch today at noon after she called me yesterday to ask about what we talked about in the escalator.

I'll be telling her the truth that I don't think he meant it to mean that way. But even so, I'm beginning to lose hope in their relationship as a couple and I'm beginning to accept that. I guess I've been selfish trying to get them together because I wanted to hang out with them even though they don't get along. I guess I'll just have to get used to hanging out with them alone... Wavecry

at least for awhile. I'm sure in time they'll be okay to be friends, I hope. Thanx for the help guys!

**4jpz** · 09-28-2007, 01:16 AM

When someone close to you like a friend or family hurt you or go against your plans, that's the time that it hurts the most since you have this assurance that the people that you love will always be there and support you... they're your security blanket... so when a fight or breakup threatens your comfort zone, you tend to either fight back or be the diplomat and patch things up or totally avoid the person as a defense... I am sure that you'll accept the situation and hopefully when the pain of the breakup lessens they'll be friends again. That way there'll be no awkward moments...

it's been five days... any developments?

**Rondillo** · 09-28-2007, 02:50 AM

No development but undevelopment Sad

They broke up a few days ago. So i came up with this schedule of having lunch with the guy every mondays and wednesdays, and lunch with the girl tuesdays and thursdays, until they are okay to have lunch together. They both seem to be doing okay now, the guy more than the girl.

One thing I was afraid of was that I might not have a lot to talk about with the girl since, we didn't really have a lot of the same interests, unlike the guy which we had video games and "guy" stuff we can talk about, so i was afraid I might drift away from her eventually. So instead what I did was show her Full House the Korean drama, since she never really watches anything asian, and now she's immersed in it lol. Now we got something in common Smile

Oh well thanks for the help, even though I didn't get a chance to use them, at least I felt comforted to know you have my back Drink