so she calmed down and talked to me and apolagized for several things. We decided to not sign divorce papers yet, but we are going to take our relationship to dating again and get to know each other. if we do good then we move on as a married couple. if not then we will sign papers and still be friends. all issues are resolved now. thanks for listening to my problems everyone.

what!!! After all she has done to you, you still accepted her back to your life? Are you a masochist or a martyr or just plain don't care about yourself and your life... geez, wake up and have a life... she obviously have you in an emotional spell that transfix you into immobility and devoid of free will!

She still can squeeze something from you: financially and emotionally... so she is still there just leeching coz obviously she's not giving back in return... I know that marriage is supposed to be sacred and all and I don't want a marriage to end but dang! you are not happy in a giddy happy way with her anymore! That feelings should have told something about what kind of relationship you have with her... You might have invested emotionally (and financially) into the relationship, but get out until you still have some self-worth left!

Sorry for being blunt but yeah that's the way I feel... Love yourself! Love life!

Well I'm going to go against 4jpz for a little bit I say if you really want to try staying with her, then you can try. BUT be careful with what she wants from you. Think twice before you give her your credit cards or the money from your ex.

This time YOU make the rules on what she should follow. Don't let her control you. She may seem psycho, but looking back, their the kind of things that my own mother would or have done. Perhaps this is just a stage of marriage that we all have to go through. Just be careful to not give anything up that you will regret even more, because you are now going to be risking more when you get back to her. Remember the slot machines?

Thanks for the advice, both ways. I told her today that for this to work she needs to go to a psych and be real and try to get help. I told her i could not keep going through what she put me through, but want to be with her. She said she promissed she would go and take it seriously. So i will set it up for very soon. I told her to not feel like going to the psych is to put you down, but to think that you want to stay married to me and need help with controlling your thoughts and way of thinking, and not letting it overpower you. She gave me all my money back and wants me to keep a seporate account until i feel i can trust her again. She admitted that her stress at work has caused 98% of the stress. She was promissed to be out of the military 4 months ago, then promissed to be out again this february. now they are saying another 4 months. I feel her stress, so I want to get her help. I told her that If it happens again I don't think i can continue. She understood and really wants to go get help. I know I should leave, but I think I can't give up just yet. that part she didn't like about me before, being too nice and giving people too many chances.

Wow seems like there has been a development! I think what you are doing is the right thing. Money (or a lot of it) shouldn't be a problem now that you two will have separate accounts and that she gave back all your money. She seems more willing to save your marriage and it seems more genuine now than the last time.

Only time can tell what will happen next. I hope all goes well with you and her. Just don't put your guard down!

i am so sorry to read about your bad news but the only thing that brings the hope is the belif of god , be sure that god will be with you and dont give up hope
i am sorry to say that your marriage maybe was wrong because you cant forget a woman by another , and also you didnot choose a good one to be with you all your life. your wife must respect your speciality and offer the forgiveness to you
also you cant live with two hearts so forgive the past and look for the furture
you got a situation looks like me so contact god and he will help you

that's good to hear wickedfx... it seems she's meeting you halfway now and is willing to make herself change for the better.... In spite of all my rants on previous posts (lol) I still believe in happy endings... Hope it all works fine in the end... Good luck and God bless!

wow ur current wife seems too dramatic. she needs to understand that you love her and you sacrificed the memroy of your past for her. she shouldnt compare herself to your ex becuase she should love you enough to understand that and accept it. dont feel bad and dont give in. remember that a new day is a new start and you can change your life for the better before its too late. you have done enough and maybe you should have your exit in her life because she doesnt appreciate it. her actions are way too much. its really unbelievable and you have dealt with it enough. i really hope everything works out.

im a really bad advice giver. wut about telll her how shes acting and see if she would like if u did it to her also.

Gosh... sounds like your wife is giving you a hard time. Its gonna be hard to work things out if "she" doesn't get the fact that, "the past, is the past". Its rather childish of her to be upset about something that none of you could change. However, she is probably feeling very insecure with herself, and therefore, she feels threatened by your ex (even though she realised that your ex is no longer around). If I were you, the bottom line is .. how you feel about the relationship. Do you still love her & do you still wanna be with her ? If the answer is yes, then you may have to be more patient, and try to reassure her of your feelings. Try to make her understand her insecurities, and reassure her that you love her now, and that's all that matters.