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Having Fun Equals Effective Socializing
Written by Asian Rake on November 14, 2008
As my good friend Sebastian, the founder of theapproach.com, likes to drill into people:
1. Have fun!
2. Make other people have fun.
3. Then see if that hot girl really meets your standards.
4. And remember to manage the logistics.
That's really all that should be going on when you're in-field.
Notice that this article is only about the first step: Have fun!
So the question is, how do you have fun in the crowded, dark, loud setting of a nightclub?
I will tell you a secret to getting on the "first-class seat in the express flight" to elite game:
If you do not yet enjoy clubbing, then it will be very hard for you to meet and attract women in a club.
If you do not yet enjoy shopping malls, then it will be very hard to for you to meet and attract women in a shopping mall.
If you do not yet enjoy cafes and bookstores, then it will be very hard for you to meet and attract women in cafes and bookstores.
If you do not yet enjoy bars, then it will be very hard for you to meet and attract women in bars.
So, what lesson can we derive from this?
Learn to enjoy the environment of the venue for it's own sake, not just as a place to meet women. Otherwise, you will very likely not be having fun, and hence, you will not be projecting a good vibe, and hence, all your sub-communications will be off, and hence, you will be severely tainting every interaction you start there.
One of the first things I learned from my friend, Christian Hudson, the founder of thesocialman.com, was how to have fun in bars and clubs. I naturally enjoy bars so that was easier. But how to have fun in very loud clubs with music that I didn't particularly care for and with nowhere to sit unless you've purchased a table with very expensive bottle service? Well, that took a lot longer to figure out. But once I did, my game in clubs skyrocketed.
People have different ways of having fun in clubs, bars, cafes, bookstores, shopping malls, heck, even supermarkets. So I'm not going to tell you how to have fun. That's something you have to figure out for yourself. I can, though, tell you how *I* have fun in the bar and club environment, since that's the one that is most foreign to most guys starting out.
To be truly outcome-independent in a bar or club, you must be completely content with yourself and enjoying your time without having to chat up a single cute girl.
Whoa! What are you saying, Dr. Asian Rake? Are you saying that I should go to a club and not talk to a single girl? Not do a single approach? How on earth am I going to amass my thousand approaches like this?
If you are not yet able to have fun in a bar or club all by yourself and not purposely "cold approaching" a single "set," then … YES. The first order of business for you is to learn to enjoy yourself in the venue for its own sake.
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