In the pages that follow I will break down some of the best tips to start improving your confidence and increasing your chances with the opposite sex. These tips come from personal experiences as well as research done by myself. My article will break down the two different types of confidence, how to acquire each type of confidence, and what you can do to increase your level of confidence.
Building Outer Confidence
The first type of confidence is what I call outer confidence. This type of confidence is only a projected confidence; what the opposite sex will notice at first glance. Sure you might be shaking inside, but outside you seem rock solid, and when you hit on her it seems like you are the most charismatic person she has ever met. Your appearance has a lot to do with your outer confidence. Nice clothes with a nice face/body. Keep your wardrobe nice and organized. Don't wear the same clothes twice in the same day. Keep your shirts ironed and clean. If you are overweight then start shedding pounds or cutting back on your caloric intake. If you're incredibly skinny, you might want to head to the gym or buy some weights. Either way, unless you're already spectacularly ripped, getting a more muscular frame plus a six pack will help your outer confidence a lot. Keep your back from slouching as well, since this is one of the most unattractive traits that a man can have.
Personal hygiene is also very important. You'll just be more nervous if you think "Wow I'm pretty sure I smell bad right now." Furthermore, if you're noticeably sweating or dirty, it will cause you to be very self-conscious. When you feel that you look sharp and sexy, you're going to feel more confident in yourself. When you think you look bad, your confidence level will be just as bad.
Guys are quite lucky since we aren't required to be informed about fashion to look good, and our clothing doesn't go out of fashion in the next season. I obviously can't advise you how to dress since there are different fashions for businesswear to casual wear. You usually can't go wrong with brand name clothes, but you can look just as good with a regular t-shirt. Just make sure you wear something that you're comfortable in.
Your looks are only one half of the equation. The other half is your speech and body language. Mumbling, saying "umm" a lot, or not maintaining eye contact are signs of insecurity that girls will pick up on. I once had a friend who always looked away when he talked to me or other people. Not only does this show a lack of confidence, but it can piss some people off, male or female.
Your voice is one of the key instruments in showing off your confidence. Having a nicely paced, deep (but not exaggerated), and smooth voice is very sexy. Don't speak too fast when you talk because you risk seeming nervous or saying something wrong. Have you noticed that when you speak in front of a group nervously, you tend to talk faster? Fast speech indicates a level of nervousness, so make sure you speak in a normal pace and moderate pitch.
If you have trouble holding conversation with beautiful women but not ordinary women, then you probably need to re-evaluate your mindset. Treat everyone as if they weren't gorgeous. Don't immediately place a woman on a pedestal because she looks like a model. Talk to her like you would talk to a friend or family member. Then when you get comfortable just talking like you have a completely platonic relationship, start actually trying to make her fall in love.
Always maintain eye contact when you are speaking with someone, but don't turn it into a staring contest. Make sure you don't seem like you are just staring at them. Use nods and facial gestures to seem like you are alive. Keeping a smile on your face also gives the impression that you are a very confident and nice person to be around. If you have trouble doing any of these, the only remedy is practice. Find a female, try to have a nice conversation, remind yourself if you are doing anything wrong, and then correct your mistakes on the next try. Another great way to improve your outer confidence is to visualize the future. You see a gorgeous girl on a table next to yours. Instead of trying to talk to her candidly, first visualize yourself going to her table, engaging in conversation, and having a fun time. Tell yourself that this is how you want to end up and think about what you could start saying. Some people can just start talking with no problem, but others need something to get them jumpstarted. Make sure you have your little jumpstart before you approach her.
Extra Tips for Outer Confidence
#1) Be brash – have a "just do it" attitude - You see a cute girl, don't hesitate, just go for it. Once you see her get it ingrained in your mind that YOU WILL go up to her. Don't ever think it's not a good moment.
#2) Don't be too serious - Don't seem like a grumpy person or a loner. Make yourself look upbeat, positive, and fun to be around. This type of personality gets other people addicted to you, no matter their sex.
#3) Nice guys can still be confident - Just because everyone says nice guys finish last doesn't mean it applies to Asians. Seriously, a good, loving relationship comes from two nice people. You can be confident without coming across as too cocky or arrogant.
By this point, you probably want to learn about the second type of confidence. Read the next page for more.
