5) Date outside of your comfort zone.
Have you ever been in a situation where one of your guy friends tries to set you up on a date and you decline, insisting that she’s not your type? Don’t lie, you know you have. This is one of the oldest excuses in the book for avoiding talking to a woman, and that’s all it is: an excuse. Maybe she’s an outdoorsy girl and you’re not an outdoorsy guy, so you think you won’t get along. So what? By limiting yourself to the limited number of girls who fall into your “type”, the only thing you’re doing is limiting your options and having fewer learning experiences. Get out there and date more girls, but also date more TYPES of girls. You’ll have more options, more experience, and the opportunity to learn how to handle different situations. You never know, you might find something you didn’t even know you liked.
6) Don’t rely on canned lines and material.
I’m not even talking about bad pickup lines from the 80s. This goes beyond dismal lines like the late Robin Williams’s “Are you retarded? Because your parents sure are special.” I’m talking about one of the numerous “prepared openers” you’ll find on spammy men’s-help sites all over the internet. Canned lines might seem like a good idea at first. They might even be really clever and insightful, and at one point in time they might have worked. But how many other men do you think saw the same thing you did? Chances are, you’re going to run into girls who have heard it before, and if not, a girl who is paying attention will still be able to tell you didn’t come up with that yourself. They might think you’re an amazing guy, but the moment you treat them the same way every other man does, they’ll get bored and will write you off with extreme annoyance. I’ve been known to brutally cut down guys who try this with me. Instead of relying on rote memorization, refer back to #1 and improve your conversation skills as a whole. Do that, and you won’t need to rely overused material that’s only going to make her roll her eyes at you.
7) Arrange dates a MINIMUM of three times a week.
The last thing you probably want to do after returning to work on Monday is take a girl out on a date that night, so I’ll let it slide if you don’t want to have a date every single day of the week. Sometimes a guy just needs to rest. But there’s no reason you can’t go out Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Date three different girls if you want to. If you like one, date her twice. Three times. Four. But however you get it done, you’re never going to improve without practice. If you’re new to dating, just returning to the dating world, or are inexperienced, it might feel strange at first to take multiple women out on dates, but just because you went on a date does NOT mean you’re a couple, so feel free to practice, practice, practice.
8) Keep a dating journal.
“I’m not a sixth-grade girl,” you say. “Why do I need to keep a diary?” I know it seems strange, but think about improving your dating skills in terms of conducting research. You need to figure out your style, your preferences, your skills, your faults, and what’s going to work for you. That’s research, my friend, and the best research is always written down. You don’t have to make it public. You don’t have to share it with anyone. But it’s a good idea to write down things that went right and things that went wrong so you’ll have something to refer back to later. Try keeping a dating journal for a couple of months, and as your skills improve, go back and read it. When you look back upon your earlier adventures, you’ll be able to see how things unfolded much more clearly, and it will help you understand yourself.
9. Find out what went wrong.
I know you’re probably going to call me crazy for this, but if something just doesn’t go right, if you can’t salvage a bad date, or even if the date was good but the girl just wanted to stay friends, you need to find out where things went wrong. You could always guess and try again in the future, but how long is that going to hold you back if you keep making the same mistakes? You can ask your ladybro for help, but if it’s possible, try to find out straight from the source (the girl who rejected you). Yes, yes, I can hear your cries of protest, but the most honest source about your shortcomings is the person who had to deal with them. She might be harsh. She might be cruel if she had a really bad time. But most girls love being able to vent, and if you ask her for honesty, she might give you insight that not even your ladybro can give.
Still have questions about improving your dating experience? Need a piece of advice? Went on a bad date and want to know where you might have gone wrong? Email us or drop us a line on Facebook, and I’d be glad to help you out. All inquiries will be kept anonymous.
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